Time to Disconnect

Sept. 1, 2016
Striking the balance between being available & being obsessed

About the author: Kelly R. Thompson, MWS, CI, is president of Moti-Vitality LLC. Thompson can be reached at [email protected].

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remember the first time I got a pager. It was for one of the first jobs I had after college and I was excited and proud to be one of those people who had a job that allowed me to complain about having to find a pay phone so I could respond to my office, even though it was outside of business hours—sort of like doctors or other elite professionals. I also had a cell phone (a humongous device that took up the entire center console of my car), but it was only to be used in case of extreme emergency as it cost nearly $243,000 per minute. That, of course, did not stop me from pretending to talk on it while I was stopped at intersections … allegedly.

By the time I stumbled into the water treatment industry almost two decades ago, technology had dramatically improved. I was issued what was affectionately known as “the brick.” This was not only a cell phone I could use to call home or work—it also had a walkie-talkie function that was not limited to the range of the back porch and the neighbor’s shed we were not allowed to play in (of course, we still did). Even though it was a bit awkward when, during a sales call, one of the service technicians beeped in with a loud barrage of expletives describing another customer, it also was helpful to the sales process. It allowed me to get a call from a customer 15 minutes after the appointment saying he or she wanted the reverse osmosis system after all or asking, “Can we install it on Thursday?”

I loved being available to my customers in the evening and during the day. I believed I had more sales opportunities because I answered my phone on Saturdays when no one else did. I remember one Friday evening when I was headed out to dinner with my wife, and a frantic customer called me on the brick. She was freaking out because she was afraid one of her cats had crawled into the softener box and inadvertently been thrown into a trash bin. I called the installer on his brick, and, after returning to the bin in question, he assured me there was no kitty in the trash. I promptly called the customer back to inform her of the news. I relished the fact that I could work while I was spending time with my wife. I was proud. I was a professional.

The reality is the technology allowed me the freedom and flexibility to spend more time at home with my family, and for that I am grateful. But sometime in the past few decades, we as a society have forgotten how to disconnect. We walk around with our Star Trek ear devices and carry on half conversations while ignoring the people—actual live and in-person people—around us. It is no wonder so many stores are installing automated checkouts. Half the people checking out at the store are on the phone anyway.

I think the problem has gotten worse since the cell phones became smartphones. Now, not only are we talking to distant people, we also are texting them while Googling details about their lives and Snapchatting with their kids and Instagramming their sisters. Oh, and we cannot forget the Twitter war with our competitors.

Turning Off the Phone

Recently, I have come to understand that the same amazing technology that initially allowed me to spend time with the people I love also has the potential to keep me away from them. Sometimes I sit in the same room with my kids or friends, yet I am more distant than I would be if I were at the office.

I do not want to write an article that sounds preachy or makes you think I’m that “Hey you kids, get off my lawn!” guy. With the acknowledgment that my articles sometimes are part of my own self-analysis, I suggest we put down our phones for few minutes and look around us.  

I recognize and appreciate that this technology is the way of the world now. I embrace the opportunities it has helped me find. But a sunset over Lake Michigan is way better than the Wikipedia article describing it. The conversation with a friend or loved one is way better when you can look him or her in the eyes and connect on a personal level.

I suggest evaluating (as I recently have been doing in my own life) the amount of time you spend answering a phone call or text message immediately upon its arrival versus the time you allot to those most important in your life. 

I love my job, and I pride myself on being available to my clients outside of business hours. But I only have two more years with my daughter before she turns 18. There is a lady who, for some odd reason, has agreed to spend the rest of her life with me. When they are talking to me, I want to listen. I have come to realize my job should enhance these relationships, not take me away from them. I have come to hope my clients will understand and appreciate that approach.

So, at the risk of sounding like I’m lecturing you, I say turn your phone off at the dinner table. When you are driving, the text can wait. The other people with whom you are golfing are irritated that you are on your phone constantly, and they would love it if you took four hours to spend time with them instead of the person on the other end of the line.

And if you call, email or text me, I will respond outside of business hours. It just may be after the Loggerhead turtle has laid her last egg and crawled back into the sea. 

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